Some people just can't handle the heat

I really don’t like the heat.
I am a native Texas and I would never to think to live anywhere else, so I should be at least be OK with the heat.
But I’m not.
I like it when it is cool or even cold outside because it is easy for me to stay warm. I am warm almost all the time because I have a little extra insulation around the middle of my body.
I can sit in a room with my wife who has to cover up in a blanket to keep warm and be thinking about getting another fan in the room to cool it down a little more. I also like to the cool weather because it is more fun to finds way to get warm.
When you are hot, you can drink water, take a cold shower or eat ice cream. I am lactose intolerant and I can’t stand taking cold showers, but water is OK.
When it is cold, I can snuggle under a blanket, drink hot chocolate, take a warm bath or take a hot shower — and all of these things can be done by myself or with my wife.
When I am hot and I try to cuddle with my wife, it is like cuddling with a small campfire. I’m not sure how her body gets cold at the slightest drop in temperature, but somehow emits the heat of the sun when she gets near me.
She can often get frustrated with me for not wanting to cuddle with her, and I try to explain that I love her, but I also love being alive and don’t want to spontaneously combust in my mid-20s.
I’m not sure how, but sometimes it even manages to be hot while it is raining. For me, it makes sense that if there is water falling out of the sky, it should be cooling me off and feel nice in the air. In Texas, the water manages to fall out of a cloud, warm up on the way to the ground and make me even more miserable.
Smaller people don’t understand this, but I don’t need a reason to sweat. I sweat by just thinking about things. The heat just compounds on my already annoying sweatiness. I don’t need it.
Like I said, Burleson, Texas is not the ideal place for a guy like me, but there is no place in the world I would rather be.

Luke Harris is the editor of the Burleson Star. He really didn’t mean to rhyme that last line. He can be reached at www.burlesonstar.net.